Wednesday, October 05, 2005
When you call me Queer, smile.
Alas, I fear that Bravo -- a basic-cable network owned by NBC -- may be smiling all the way to the bank. The folks there have produced a one-hour special entitled "Great Things About Being Queer." Although I'm grateful for positive media exposure (we're so easy to please), I'm not sure this show represents a step forward for us, or anybody else. This show is "special" like Special Ed.
"Great Things About Being Queer" offers a twenty-item countdown of the "best things" about being Gay or Lesbian in America today. It's so relentlessly upbeat it makes Pollyanna look like Alan Greenspan. (Yes, cowboys are hot, when they're not beating your face to a bloody pulp.) One segment is particularly clueless: It claims there's a silver lining to all these state and federal "Defense of Marriage" amendments, because if same-sex couples can't marry, we'll never have to go through a messy divorce!
Jaw, meet floor.
Perhaps Bravo TV execs ought to observe the breakup of an actual same-sex household. I have, and I found that unmarried same-sex partners can experience all the emotional and financial trauma of separation, with none of the legal or personal protections that divorce can provide.
The stupidity doesn't end there, natch. According to Bravo TV, the best thing about being Gay is ... Cher. Cher? Surely they could do better than that: Cher may have the face that launched a thousand drag queens, but most of the Lesbians I know couldn't care less about her. And even if you think Sonny Bono's ex is Goddess incarnate, you have to admit there are better things about being Gay than a faded disco diva pushing sixty, on a farewell tour longer than Anna Russell's, with enough biotoxins in her forehead to murder half the Third World. Sweet bleeding Jesus, what planet are these people from?
Take it from a Gay man: The best thing about being Gay is sex. If you're Gay and you're not having hot, sweaty intercourse on a fairly regular basis with someone you love (or at least kind of like), you are missing out on a very, very good thing.
By the way, I'm informed that having sex with people you love is also the best thing about being Straight.
Update (10/7): According to Bravo, one of the best things about being 30 is that "At least you know you're not Gay." Basic cable giveth, and basic cable taketh away.
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